A subordinate from work called me on my drive home today and asked me if he could share his location with me and if I could tell him where it was showing up. Instant alarm bells started going off in my head. I wanted to know why, but he wouldn’t tell me until I reported back on his location. After I answered, he explained that he was still living with his ex-girlfriend for the purpose of sharing rent, while he saves up for somewhere else to live. He started dating a new woman 9 months ago, but told her he was living with his sister instead of his ex. Apparently the ex found out, contacted the current GF, and told her they were living together and still dating "out of jealousy."
He continued to lie to CGF and deny it, and he was on his way to his sister’s house to pick her up, bring her back to his place, and take photos with her there to send to CGF, and he didn’t want her to see his location moving. Of course I told him he needs to fess up, that you can’t start a relationship on a lie, of course she’s going to find out eventually, and then it’s going to be even worse because they will be more involved and he will have told more and more lies. I suggested maybe she would understand why he didn’t want to tell her about his living situation and give him another chance if he confessed of his own accord and promised honesty going forward. He replied, "No, then she’ll definitely break up with me!" And I told him it’s her right to know the truth so she can make that informed decision for herself. Of course, he didn’t want to listen and wouldn’t be convinced, and we hung up as he arrived at his sister’s.
I’m angry with him for making me complicit in his scheme, and for lying in general. It’s especially bad that he’s telling me this, as I’m responsible for grading his performance at work, and now I have to worry if I’m being objective or not. I will most definitely be on the lookout for any work-related dishonesty, that’s for sure.
What is the probability that he is/was still involved with the "ex" and two-timing both women? And do I have an obligation to try to seek one or both of them out and inform them? I don’t know how I would even go about doing that, or whether it’s prudent.
Help!
